A Moment In The Sun

Another update has appeared to the continuing exploits of Israel’s No.2 tennis player Amir Weintraub, whose escapades I first covered here. The fifth installment of his adventures – entitled ‘A week that really happened to me’ – has been translated and posted in the original forum thread (it’s on page 8). It covers his debut for Israel in Davis Cup, in which he fought to a five set win over Jerzy Janowicz, whom he persists in referring to as ‘The Pole’.

As much as I enjoy and appreciate Weintraub’s intermittent updates, I do regret an increasing tendency towards introspection; towards merely telling us how he’s feeling, especially when he’s feeling glum. This stuff is not his strong point, mainly because he ends up sounding much like everyone, and thus could be anyone. World literature is hardly under-represented on this front, and Weintraub’s posts demonstrate that the terms with which self-pity is conveyed transcend language barriers. It reads predictably even in translation. You don’t need to have played your first Davis Cup match to write: ‘I’m shaking and excited. My stomach rolling. How am I supposed to hit the ball when I’m this nervous? I hold it all in, get the claps, hundreds of people calling my name, I’ve waited my entire life for that moment and it is a lot more thrilling than I could possibly dream.’ You just need a modicum of imagination. Conversely, with only a few words altered you could be describing the closing scenes of Teen Wolf. It’s just too general.

When he gives us the incidental details, however, his rare situation snaps into focus: ‘We get back to the hotel room and each of us gets exactly what he wanted for ‘match day food’. Dudi asks for pasta, I opt for rice.’ We can surmise, without having to be told and through the mere fact of its inclusion, that this strikes Weintraub as noteworthy. The (unintentional) echo of death row only adds to the sense of foreboding. It is perfectly evocative, for it conjures the distance between the Davis Cup experience and the week-in grind of the Futures and Challenger circuits.

Overcoming Jerzy Janowicz is to date the greatest moment of Weintraub’s career. However, it isn’t so great that he wishes to repeat it: ‘I only pray Andy and Yoni will take the doubles . . . so I wouldn’t have to go through this hell on Sunday again.’ Again, it’s the specificity of the admission that lends it value. Really, he’s only saying that he’s relieved, but if he’d only said that he wouldn’t have been saying much, certainly not much that we couldn’t have guessed ourselves. It is the particularity of his relief that makes it his, and that makes it valuable to the reader. These details invite us into his world.

His world is not that of, say, the world’s No.1, who spent the Davis Cup weekend at the impossible task of beating up hapless Belgians. It was a weekend in which the world group ties ground on with narcoleptic inevitability. It is worth being reminded that the zonal groups didn’t. Indeed, there is substance to the argument that the Davis Cup is most meaningful only for the nation that lofts the trophy each December, and for the smaller nations whose players are granted a transfigurative experience. Amir Weintraub was one such. I’m eager to see where he goes from here.

 

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Real Tennis Ensued

The last two unseeded players in the draw’s bottom half collided this morning, and it turned out to be the match of the day, although this is not an especially stellar accolade as no other match reached a deciding set. There have been two-set classics, it’s true, but none of them occurred today. Today was one for the fans – the true-believers – especially those of Richard Gasquet, Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic, who were fearsome.

Harrison d. Raonic, 7/6 4/6 6/4

The unseeded players in question were Ryan Harrison, an eighteen-year-old American on the climb to notoriety, and Milos Raonic, who is a pretty big deal already. Raonic’s prematch favouratism owed less to his shiny new ranking – No.34 – than to his power and composure. He has both in buckets. Nonetheless, the younger player was not overwhelmed, and looked quite composed himself in stepping in to take Raonic’s vicious deliveries on the up. To say it was an impressive returning display does the performance scant justice. It was a downright admonition to Raonic’s recent opponents. I’m not mentioning Fernando Verdasco specifically but . . . well, I just did. Once the Canadian’s serve is back in play, it turns out real tennis ensues. The real tennis was excellent, a testament to both guy’s widely overlooked prowess off the ground. Harrison’s go-to play generally involves hurtling netwards, and taking his licks. That said, his baseline endeavours boast variety of the old-fashioned kind, the kind everyone once had before Fabrice Santoro annexed the very concept, and everyone else gave up on it. It’s a long way of saying he’s talented.

Federer d. Chela, 6/0 6/2

Djokovic d. Gulbis, 6/0 6/1

Federer’s first set against Juan Ignacio Chela was vintage stuff, insofar as I imagine it recalled any of the other six times he hasn’t lost to the guy. I won’t pretend to have seen them all. The second set was merely very good. I may be reading it wrong, but Federer seems like a bad match-up for the Argentinian. Meanwhile, Djokovic’s egregious mental lapse in the second set against Ernest Gulbis ruined his chances of dishing up a double bagel. Gulbis for his part was impeccable, posting the sorts of numbers hitherto unseen in professional tennis (see left), at least not since Jimmy Connors once played an exhibition against a standard poodle. Gulbis was more successful on Djokovic’s serve than his own, doubtless because it allowed him to remain still and randomly windmill his racquet about. This tactic payed rich dividends at the net, where his vast wingspan made him a fearsome sight, lustily thrashing about. Judging by this video, Djokovic gave the match about as much preparation as it warranted. Based on the scoreline, who could fault him?

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A Sobering Memento

Indian Wells, Third Round

Kohlschreiber d. Soderling, 7/6 6/4

Nadal d. Sweeting, 6/3 6/1

For the first time in their rivalry, Robin Soderling and Philip Kohlschreiber failed to go the distance, largely because the distance lay somewhere deep in the Swede’s forehand corner, and he could no longer push effectively from his left foot. Yet he toiled valiantly, and even hobbled was no certainty to lose. The scoreline, if chanced upon five or thirty years hence, will suggest another close encounter between matched foes. Fated to live now, we see it as yet another example of the tough match-up that defies common sense. Their rivalry pre-dates Soderling’s ascension to the elite, and even now only extends to five matches. Indeed, we could hardly recall it rivalry at all, but for the curious fact that their first four meetings all went to deciding breakers, and that Soderling only won the last of them. Like Roger Federer’s issues with Igor Andreev or Gilles Simon, explanations abound, but even in their ponderous totality these seem insufficient to adequately explain the superior player’s problem. Like that scruffy boyhood friend you somehow retain even as you accrue wealth and fame – I naturally speak from intimate experience – Kohlschreiber seems destined to remain a foil for Soderling no matter how accomplished the latter becomes, a sobering memento from the bad old journeyman days.

With Soderling’s loss, the last realistic impediment to Rafael Nadal reaching the Indian Wells final has been removed. Now that Fernando Verdasco and Gilles Simon have lost, even the unrealistic impediments are looking thin on the ground. Nadal remains the sole top twenty player in that half of the draw, and next faces Somdev Devvarman, who at No.84 will be by some margin the highest ranked player he has faced so far. Meanwhile, yesterday on the bottom half of the draw all but two of the sixteen seeds progressed, and the two that didn’t were hardly contenders, and fell to decent young prospects on the make. Those of us hoping to see the world No.1 challenged even a little are surely justified in our disappointment.

del Potro d. Dolgopolov, 7/6 6/3

The only credentialled player likely to emerge from the Murray-Soderling quarter of death will be Juan Martin del Potro, who today looked assured in his win over the flamboyant Alexandr Dolgopolov, in much the same way Marat Safin never did against Fabrice Santoro. One suspects del Potro’s demons are different to Safin’s, even following a hellish year. Aside from his first serve, which eventually decamped for good as he served for the match, del Potro’s game is looked increasingly solid. The forehand is still there, with its incongruous little flourish on the take-back, and its breath-taking pace. Some today, as he lost patience with Dolgopolov’s sophisticated noodling, returned me to the 2009 US Open final. One of the game’s signature shots has returned, when there was every reason to believe it never would.

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Anyone Has His Day

Indian Wells, Second Round

Those who either love or hate Rafael Nadal – equally absurd positions way out on the fringe of reason – would have charted his likely course through the Indian Wells draw the moment it was released. Certain reefs would have been apparent immediately: Marcos Baghdatis in the fourth round (extreme minds leap to Cinncinati last year, when the Cypriot served Nadal from the court); David Ferrer in the quarterfinal (fresh memories of Melbourne, Nadal hobbled and Ferrer inexorable); and a semifinal against Andy Murray or Robin Soderling. It looked manageable, but hardly foregone. The fringe-dwellers saw enough to nourish their respective hopes, whatever they may be. Then today happened. As days of tennis go, today at Indian Wells has been about as shocking as having a battery of electrodes attached to your testicles (women may substitute a delicate protuberance of their choosing). Soderling aside, Nadal won’t be facing any of those guys, primarily because they are no longer in the tournament.

Devvarman d. Baghdatis, 7/5 6/0

To the lately distended list of strange and inconsequential outcomes I never thought I’d see, I can now add Somdev Devvarman bagelling anyone. To call his game pedestrian is to do walking an unkindness, although I cannot fault his application. Still, if it was to happen it would have to be against a shotmaker not making his shots. Thus afflicted, Baghdatis resorted in due course to throwing haymakers, but none of them found their mark. From 5/5 in the first set, having already refunded an early break, he won precisely zero games, for no good reason. Fitness played no part: remember the compelling video the ATP released about Baghdatis doing a million sit-ups on the beach? As far as I can tell, this updated, sleeker Baghdatis seems rather less effective than yesteryear’s superseded model. He is now 6-5 for the year, including two retirements and this latest ‘effort’.

Karlovic d. Ferrer, 7/6 6/3

Another entry for the list: Ivo Karlovic out-muscling David Ferrer from the baseline. Expert opinion heading into this match was sharply divided as to whether Karlovic would go down in three tiebreaks, or two. In other words, he basically was no chance, although what chance he did have would obviously involve serving his way to breakers, and lucking a few returns. His career is predicated on this tactic, and partially explains why his ranking is a stellar No.239. Today he served at 58%, with only nine aces and a handful of double-faults. Mind you, Ferrer managed only 46%, though it felt considerably lower than that. Karlovic was actually cracking winners off the ground – including some sumptuous backhands – and volleyed with deft aplomb. Having been denied a wildcard into qualifying for Miami next week, he has a point to prove, and a ranking to improve.

Young d. Murray, 7/6 6/3

If the sadistic fundamentalist manning those electrodes suddenly cranked up the voltage, it might evoke something of how this result felt. The shock was so great that waves emanated outward to rapidly engulf the tennis world. Fears that an Australian Open final loss would again propel the Scot into a precipitous dive have proved founded, despite his insistence to the contrary. Murray hasn’t won a set since the semifinal in Melbourne. That says a lot. What says even more is that before today, Young hadn’t won consecutive matches at tour level in three years. Now he has. I could say that Young was ripping his forehand, and he was. But even ripped, his forehand is not very good, and Murray’s impressive Masters 1000 record was built on absorbing and subverting the ripped forehands of Roger Federer and Nadal. He has much to think on. Young, for his part, has permitted himself a mere touch of optimism. They have been tough years.

Nadal d. de Voest, 6/0 6/2

For those pundits eager to insist that the depth in men’s tennis means that anyone can beat anyone – and I’m mostly sympathetic to this view – days like today are grist for the mill. As the seeds toppled, it was clear that even anyone can have his day, and that when he does, even the somebodies should step warily. Sadly no one told Rik de Voest, who could manage only two games against a charitable world No.1. Then again, it’s pretty hard to imagine the kind of day the diminutive de Voest would have to have in order to trouble Nadal further. Nadal was in so little trouble tonight that even he was willing to concede the point. Next up he’ll face Ryan Sweeting, who in full flight makes de Voest look like an in-form Marat Safin. Nadal’s real challenges were due to begin in the fourth round, but now they will likely be delayed until the semifinals, if not later. To his zealots, who are legion, the screams of seeds being mowed down was sweet music. To his detractors, the sense of stifled outrage is searing in its severity, the purest rush known to the anti-fan.

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The Roger Federer of Tennis

Indian Wells Doubles, First Round

Federer / Wawrinka d. Mirnyi / Nestor, 6/1 6/2

Nadal / M.Lopez d. Frystenberg / Matkowski, 7/6 7/6

Who among us doesn’t love to be right, even about something as inconsequential as sport, and even about something as uncontroversial as the declaration that Roger Federer is a good chance to win his first round match? Yesterday I suggested that the Indian Wells doubles event, unusually bloated with top shelf singles talent, would provide clear support for the theory that top doubles players thrive only because top singles players generally have better things to do. (It’s all vaguely reminiscent of that delectable moment in 2006 when Gael Monfils entered a paddle tennis tournament for a lark, and proceeded to beat the ‘world No.1′ Scott Freedman, otherwise known as the ‘Roger Federer of paddle tennis’. Good times.)

Proof has arrived in short order, with the news that the second seeds Nestor and Mirnyi were summarily thrashed by the Roger Federer of tennis and Stan Wawrinka, 6/1 6/2. The fourth seeds Frystenberg and Matkowski also fell to Nadal and Marc Lopez. A Fedal semifinal is not out of the question, or even unlikely. As expected, Melzer and Petzshner scraped through against Ferrer and Almagro. As unexpected Isner and Querry beat Llodra and Zimonjic. Djokovic and Murray carried compatriots and/or siblings through. The Bryans will likely do the same against the replacements for Soderling and Nieminen: Raonic and Feliciano Lopez. Now there’s a remake of The Odd Couple begging to be made. Lopez was seeded for the Australian Open, and Raonic had to qualify. Now the Canadian is ranked higher. I wonder if they share a laugh about that during practice, or whether they just stand around admiring the Spaniard’s thighs.

Steve Tignor has a decent write-up of the matches here.

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When Violinists Attack

Indian Wells is now under way, and the considerable anticipation generated by the year’s first Masters 1000 event has only sharpened, although it has been tempered by frustration born of the fact that nothing will be televised until Saturday. As I write, Juan Martin del Potro is serving up a break at 3/2 in the first set against Radek Stepanek. Surely no one would want to see that.

Certainly Qualified
Qualifying is of course complete, having provided a level of excitement commensurate with the coverage: the field appeared uncharacteristically weak, with a typically heavy local contingent. Since I’m not American, I’m not legally obliged under the Patriot Act to care about Donald Young either way. Apparently he is a figure of some controversy in those parts of the world not afforded the same luxury. My right to indifference has been exercised heavily of late, especially since I watched him whine and slouch his way to a straight sets capitulation to Marin Cilic in Melbourne. Anyhow, he made it through qualifying, and has now progressed through the first round with an apparently decent win over Potito Starace (who still doesn’t yield ‘potato starch’ when googled).

Young was not unique in this achievement, given that four other qualifiers won their first round matches. This seemingly confirms the view that progressing through qualifying instills a certain match toughness. I can’t refute this, but I will add that the ‘96’ draw, whereby all 32 seeds receive a first-round bye, tends to foster this kind of result, since none of the qualifiers have to face anyone fearsome. The first round becomes a kind of super-qualifying round. The real action gets underway when the big boys turn out on Saturday, which explains why there’s no coverage until then. I still don’t like it.

The only other thing to add is that Grigor Dimitrov must be kicking himself – or a nearby official – at his decision to remain in Europe rather than front up for qualifying. There’s hay to be made in the Southern California sunshine, and he is precisely the kind of guy at the precisely the stage of his career when he should be making it. Last week he won the Cherbourg Challenger with a terrific performance over Nicolas Mahut, but his decision to play Sarajevo rather than Indian Wells ranks down there with spending February in Europe rather than North America. Emulating Federer will only get you so far. Even playing like him won’t be much good if you’re in the wrong place. At least he’s down to play qualifying in Miami, where he’ll doubtless prove me completely wrong.

When Violinists Attack
There is an old joke in classical music circles about violists being failed violinists. It is unkind, though whatever claim it may have on being funny is due to a discomforting proximity to the truth. (Conceptually, it isn’t any great distance from the line about drummers being the guys who hang out with musicians.) The assumption is that given the choice, most people would choose to play the violin over the unwieldy viola, but that most violists don’t have that choice. It is a formulation that transfers readily to tennis, regarding doubles players. It is equally unfair, equally unkind, and about as true. We can argue until the cows return that doubles is a specialised skill, requiring hair-trigger reflexes, carefully executed tactics and preternatural communication skills, and it all sounds pretty convincing, until empirical evidence proves otherwise. Empirical evidence usually arrives in the form of a couple of top singles players pairing up for a week, and winning an event merely through being better tennis players. When it comes down to it, wouldn’t the Bryan brothers rather be top singles players? From this perspective, Indian Wells will this week be little more than a test laboratory for this theory, like CERN for doubles.

Of the best ten singles players in the world – that is, the best ten tennis players – nine are this week entered into the doubles tournament. The only guy missing is Andy Roddick, who of all the top ten finds himself at the net the most, and could really use the practice. But he has a metric shitload of points to defend in the next few weeks, and has wisely chosen to direct his energies as efficiently as possible. Anyway, everyone else has found a partner, and looks poised to wreck the week for the established teams. Never has the concept of seeding looked so meaningless.

The top-seeded Bryans doubtless fancy their chances against the Scandinavian throw-together of Soderling and Nieminen, although second seeds Nestor and Mirnyi might not against Federer and Wawrinka, who you might recall took the Olympic doubles gold back in 2008. The dynamic Polish pairing of Frystenberg and Matkowski, seeded fourth, will encounter Nadal and Marc Lopez, who are the defending champions. Ouch. Djokovic and Troicki compose another fearsome and makeshift duo, while Andy Murray and brother Jamie have played and won together plenty of times before. Meanwhile, Melzer and Petzschner should be safe against Ferrer and Almagro – though you never know – while Llodra and Zimonjic will presumably have scant trouble disposing of Isner and Querry, neither of whom looks much like a singles, or even tennis, player right now. Other teams to beware of: Berdych and Tipsarevic, Dolgopolov and Malisse, Cilic and Karlovic.

There’s every chance the doubles tournament could prove more interesting than the singles. We can only hope they show some of it. In case you’re curious, here’s the Indian Wells doubles draw.

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Luck of the Draw: Indian Wells

When the draw for the Australian Open was released, several moons ago, there was a collective moan from avid draw-watchers in caves and forest clearings the world over, draw-watching being essentially a night-cult. Once again, Rafael Nadal had been placed in the same half as Andy Murray, who himself would have to plough through world No.4 Robin Soderling to get another shot at the Spaniard. Nadal’s path to Murray led through any number of his hapless compatriots. Meanwhile, in the lower portion, Roger Federer and Novak Djokovic shaped up as likely semifinalists, again . . .

This was not the first time this configuration had emerged. As it turned out, nor was it the last. Indian Wells has arrived, and here we are again. If you didn’t know better, you’d think it was rigged. Many fans clearly don’t know better, and stern attacks on the sport’s integrity are again thickening the ether. The discursive styles of hardcore sports fans and conspiracy theorists are generally pretty alike, anyway, so its nice when they get to be both at once. The fix is in.

If Federer and Djokovic get that far, their semifinal will decide the No.2 ranking, which the ATP is hyping mightily, as though the rankings will then be frozen for eternity, or as though Djokovic didn’t spend half of last year at No.2. If they get that far, it’ll be worth talking about then. In the meantime, there is no shortage of imposing figures in their path, and a nebulous expectation that Djokovic’s imperious form can’t last forever. There is a potential for Federer to meet Milos Raonic in the fourth round – beware the hype – and almost anyone in the quarterfinals. Watch out for that one. With three or four wins under their belt, anyone can be dangerous.

Soderling’s cut of the draw is once again tough and chewy, suggesting that whoever is fixing these draws isn’t a fan, or a very mindful cook. To get a chance against Murray, he’ll likely have to win a third set tiebreaker over Philip Kohlschreiber – their matches invariably fly to the wire – as well as some unholy combination of Alexandr Dolgopolov (remember Melbourne), Ivan Ljubicic (defending champion) or Juan Martin del Potro (who may have pulled out). Meanwhile, it is hard to see anyone troubling Nadal before the quarterfinals, where he will quite possibly collide with David Ferrer, having honed his skills on a host of sundry Spaniards. On an astoundingly slow hardcourt – more blue clay – settle in for a long night.

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Just Ask Your Pop

Davis Cup, First Round

The long crescendo transfiguring a dull murmur into a vast roar, stillness giving way to ripples as an exuberant accelerando tears through the throng. Patriotism granted a throat and a body: this is Davis Cup, in glorious tutti! Or it would be if you were not in the regrettably named and sterile Palace of Sports Lokomotiv, Kharkov, where about a hundred people witnessed Robin Haase’s stirring recovery from two sets to love against Illya Marchenko in the fifth and deciding rubber. The Dutch contingent invaded the court, and formed a bouncing orange knot. The few Ukrainians in attendance milled about, certain only in their disappointment, having taken their cue from Marchenko, who’d looked equally lost and glum as the match wore him down. If the beginning of the weekend had been about odd results and brain explosions, it was ending with some gritty heroics. Nearby, in Estonia, Ricardas Berankis manufactured a desperate win from a couple of sets down, finally taking out the Dr Suess inspired Jurgen Zopp 11/9 in the fifth. Still, like Ukraine, Lithuania weren’t going to get it done with only one player.

Heading west to Ostrava, and Andrei Golubev played almost exactly like he always does, but for a minor adjustment that allowed his balls to land in. If pressed, he’d doubtless be unable to tell you what the adjustment actually was, and there’s no reason to think it’ll stick. But he’d also tell you he was pleased it happened today, and won Kazakhstan the tie. For fans of Tomas Berdych, I wonder if it is more disappointing that he actually played decently, and was ultimately outhit. There is a seductive solace in poor form, since the only way is up. Losing while in good form brings one hard up against the awkward idea that your best may not be good enough. Still, Berdych is world No.7 for the time being, and Golubev is mired around 40. We’re constantly told that the depth in the men’s game is such that anyone can beat anyone on a given day. Today it was given to Golubev, who hit an astonishing 90 winners. It made for tremendous viewing, especially if you’re a fan of flashy one-handed backhands. I am.

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Must Be Nice

It is a nice question which of this weekend’s inevitable crop of bizarro Davis Cup results has thus far pushed eyebrows the highest. How about John Isner going down to Paul Capdeville in a tight five setter? The giant American led two sets to none, from which point he lost serve once, and with it the match. Still, it was on clay, in Chile, and it was Isner. It was a result worthy of Ivo Karlovic, suggesting that while character may not be destiny, a one-dimensional serve-base game often is. For his part, Capdeville held his nerve very well.

I doubt anyone expected Adrian Ungur to grab a set from David Nalbandian, in Argentina. Word ahead of the tie was that Nalbandian was not well, and as the match wore on, he grew less so. Realistically, given the severity of his ‘sports’ hernia, he was lucky to drop only a set. He could well have left his undercarriage out there on the dirt. He’s now out for Indian Wells and Miami, a cruel price to pay for a tie Argentina was always going to win.

On the face of it, I suppose Janko Tipsarevic going down to Somdev Devvarman in straight sets was a humdinger, though if anyone is going to go haywire in front of a boisterous home crowd, it’s Tipsarevic. Being immensely well-read, it isn’t out of the question that he has grown so preoccupied with deconstructing the very nature of sport and nationalism that he talked himself out of competing at all. Still, you’d think he’d be good for a set. Tipsarevic was philosophical via Twitter: ‘Even when you feel and play like crap, your team mates are there to fix the problem. 2:1 Serbia … Idemoooo!;)’. Must be nice. Prior to that tweet, his previous one was simply a link to an ESPN story about him, which isn’t the least self-aggrandising move I’ve ever encountered. It was the usual semi-literate guff, including the astounding news that Tipsarevic has momentarily put aside Nietzsche in order to read the bible. Far out.

My favourite result from the weekend so far was Amir Weintraub defeating Poland’s Jerzy Janowicz in five sets. This tie has been weighing on Weintraub’s mind since he received the call up to the Israeli squad, and it’s satisfying to see that his introduction to Davis Cup has been so positive. He’ll earn valuable ranking points, and even more valuable confidence. I’m looking forward to his next blog update.

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Degrees of Impossibility

If ever a case could be made for the previous year’s Davis Cup victor to be granted a first round bye the following year, this is the moment. Serbia will open its 2011 campaign against India, who long ago qualified as under-strength even when fielding its best players. Today India will be under-strength even by its own standards, having lost the star doubles combination of Mahesh Bhupathi and Leander Paes – the so-called Indian Express – neither of whom could obtain an exeat from his respective nursing home. Novak Djokovic took one look at the tie, and decided to grant himself a bye. The Serbian team will now be led by Victor Troicki, whom I would not want playing for my life, unless it was against Rohan Bopanna or Somdev Devvarman, in Serbia. Having seen their prospects thus upgraded from ‘utterly impossible’ to ‘ridiculously improbable’, the Indians have allowed themselves a measure of hope. More fools they.

Lest it wasn’t clear, I was using ‘impossible’ in something closer to its literal meaning, as opposed to Rafael Nadal, who appends the term capriciously to pretty much anything he might be expected to do on a tennis court, such as beating Tomas Berdych in the Wimbledon final. Speaking of Nadal, he’ll be attempting to scale a virtual Everest in overcoming Ruben Bemelmans, ranked 144. The Belgian team features exactly one player inside the top hundred (Xavier Malisse), while the Spaniards have three inside the top ten. Notwithstanding the impossibility of the task awaiting them, Spain should also be gifted a first round bye. Really.

All of which is a way of saying the first round of the Davis Cup 2011 World Group is a waste of time. It is of course difficult – though not strictly impossible, even for Nadal – to see upsets coming, but even so predicting the winners requires no great display of prognostication. The only thorny ones are between Croatia and Germany, because both teams are primarily composed of mercurial headcases, and between Austria and France, because most of the French are injured. Sweden hosting Russia might have been interesting if Mikhail Youzhny hadn’t withdrawn from Davis Cup, and Nikolay Davydenko hadn’t taken leave of competitive tennis entirely. For their part, Sweden has deployed a pair of Nordic sledgehammers in Robin Soderling and Joachim Johansson, who is certainly better than his ranking of 749, although no one really knows how much better.

If the expected teams progress through this round, expect to see some delightful quarterfinals in July. For now, if your country isn’t playing, or you don’t believe a post-nationalist sport like tennis should be yoked to an anachronistic patriotic agenda, or you just don’t care for Davis Cup, well, it’s probably better to join Djokovic in preparing for Indian Wells. Take the weekend off. Give yourself a bye.

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